;-;

tbqh

william beckett is amazing despite what you say. i still adore the man, and tai for that matter. so stfu.

anyways, i’m so tired of this place. i’m sick of these people. i’m sick of the same old perverted, dumb(and i’m speaking literal here.), immature teenagers. Don’t get me wrong, I too am a teenage girl, but I don’t go around asking people to help me jack off. WTF is wrong with your minds? You’re obviously mental. I’ve only met one boy who hasn’t made sexual jokes around me. (excluding family members and adults that I’ve met.) Honestly, I find this as an embarrassment to the human race. Okay, I get it; you’re a teenage boy and you’ve got hormones and what not. But can you have some SELF-CONTROL around people? No one wants to hear about how you put yourself to sleep at night, seriously. Anyways, it’s just not this that bothers me. It’s also annoying when girls pretend to be stupid, but i don’t feel like ranting on about that. I also hate it when people degrade my intelligence. I’m probably smarter than you people who are 20+ years older than me. I mean when I watch my forensic shows on t/v my aunt is always like “do you understand what’s going on and what they’re talking about?” well obviously i do if i’m watching it. If i was watching the shows and had no idea what they were talking about obviously i wouldnt watch it (unless i was being forced.) because then that would just be plain old STUPID AND POINTLESS. oh and teachers do this all the time, they talk to us like we’re retarded, (literally retarded of course.) they teach the same things to us over and over again, because they think we can’t grasp the concept the first time. If they went over it once or twice or even three times i wouldnt mind, but NO they have to keep going on and on and on and on. I just really really really hate teachers. I guess it’s because all the ones I’ve met have been asses, anyways this is all besides the point.

I hate syosset rn. I do not want to live in this town any longer. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVELOVELOVELOVE the state of new york, but i hate syosset. I cant wait to move out to the city and get my degree in law, and then i want to live in either chicago or seattle. I also want to marry a cute english boy, with a nice accent who has a lot in common with me. I can’t wait to graduate, that will be the happiest day of my life. I’ll finally be able to leave this horrible place filled with horrible people. I don’t care if you think this town is amazing, Idc if you think i’m being unreasonable, because if you’ve been what I’ve been through with the people here and how I’ve been emotionally scarred then you’d understand. && if yk me personally and read my blog for fun, don’t bother hoping that I’m going to blog about my problems in detail. Don’t bother asking me about them either. I don’t want you to know, so don’t ask && don’t hope.

I’m tired of my friends just ditching me as well, and then when i try to make things better they’re always too busy for me. I’m sorry we haven’t had the time to hang out much this year ex-bestfriend! I’m sorry that I’ve had sooo many problems this year and that I had to go through them w/o one of my best friends it really hurt me even more. && even when i call you or talk to you online you’re always busy with your new friends and have no time for your old ones. I really need you, but it’s obvious that you don’t need me. Or maybe I’m overreacting after not talking to you in over 9 months or hanging out in over 9 months as well. It’s like we’re in the 3rd grade again, it’s like we’re starting our friendship over again. I mean we don’t even say hi to each other in the halls anymore :/

I just feel like an outcast AGAIN, I don’t feel like I belong here. I don’t think I ever will belong here as hard as I try, and I’ve tried hard enough to fit in just fine. I’ve given up on this place and forcing myself to like it.

The Only Things That Make Me Happy:
- Music & favorite music // my ipod
- Swimming
- Designing // Drawing anything and everything
- Photography
- Family Parties @ my grandma’s house
- My immediate family
- My mom’s extended family
- My grandma
- Food

I’m sorry those are the only things that will make me happy for a very very very very very long time. Yes, other things make me happy, but only for so long.

I don’t care if you think I need a therapist or whatever, because obviously you don’t know me (whoever you are.) and I don’t know you. I have no right to tell you what you do and don’t need in your life and you have no right to do the same to me. kthnx?

Oh and since we’re on the topic of teachers, I still hate you mr.fatass with a passion, you don’t deserve to be a teacher the way you treat students and the way you talk to us. && mr.i’mobsessedwithseducingyoungmen just go buy yourself a life. && as smart and interesting i thought hamlet was, i thought you wasted time teaching us hamlet; because you could’ve better prepared us for the world by teaching half the class how to properly construct a sentence. I didnt learn anything from your class. && mr. fatass should just go away, far away.

this post is too long for me, so i’m going to stop blogging and go to bed right now.

until next time; i don’t think i’m prepared for next year at all, i think i’m in for something big and bad. && i’m not talking about academics here, i’m talking socailly here. it’s gunna be hard and horrible. i can’t wait till it’s over.

i’ll really just be pondering that thought ^^

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.